Archive for the ‘young girl’ tag
Playboy
A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl named Peggy
in a exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment
when he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was
well groomed and apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection
of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors
and offered her a glass of wine.
He asked Peggy whether she preferred Port or Sherry
and she said, “Oh Sherry by all means. To me, it’s the nectar
of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal clear decanter
fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When
the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured
into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I’m
lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I’m
about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins
to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly
played fills my ears and I’m transported into another
world. Port on the other hand, makes me fart.”
Irish Bingo
A young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home 6 months later & steps out of a
taxi wearing a full-length mink coat.
Begorrah, Colleen,” says her mother. “Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin’ an’ it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?”
Colleen replies, “Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don’t they have wonderful prizes in London?”
When the weekend’s over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she’s back to visit her mom a few months later. This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she’s wearing a beautiful gold wrist watch & a large diamond ring.
Same exchange with Mom…same “Won it at bingo!”
Colleen returns to the bright lights again. A few months later, she’s back. This time she’s sporting a beautiful emerald & diamond necklace with matching bracelet & earrings. She hands her mother 1,000 pounds & explains she won it all in bingo. Then she asks Mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up.
When Colleen gets to the washroom, there’s only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her Mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, “Mom! Sure now, didn’t I ask you to run me a bath?
There’s only a quarter inch of water in the tub!”
“Indade there is, me darlin,” replies her Mom. “But we don’t want ye gettin’ yer bingo card wet now, do we?”
You can never fool Mom.
