bingbongboo fun

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in lahore.
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes,
I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab.
I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long.
My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly.
I am playing hardly also.
Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.
Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone.
I am jolly. I am gay.
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.
I am always giving respect to the ladies.
I am always allowing ladies to get on top.
That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits.
I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.
Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.
Daily I am pumping and pumping.
If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.
What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.
That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and
take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you,
I will be loving you very hard every day.
In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me,
I will press you and press you until you come.
So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet
and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, “I’m so pissed off!”

“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.

“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!”

“Gee, that’s tough!” commiserated the bartender.
“Right, but that’s not what really got me aggravated,” the customer went on. “When her husband came into the room he said ‘Hey great! You’re naked already! Let me just take a leak.’ And damned if the lazy son of a bastard didn’t piss out the window right onto my head?”
“Yeech!” the bartender shook his head. “No wonder you’re in a lousy mood.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!”

“Damn, that really is a drag!” says the bartender.

“Oh, I’m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!”

The bartender paled. “That would sure mess up my day.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fellow rattled on, “but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!”