bingbongboo fun

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

The officer said, "Ma’am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!".

A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please..
Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car..
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

A  police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘ I  clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’

The  driver says, ‘Gee,  officer I had it on cruise control at 60,  perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating..’

Not  looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be  silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have  cruise control.’

As  the officer writes out the ticket, the driver  looks over at his wife and growls, ‘Can’t you  please keep your mouth shut for  once?’

The wife smiles demurely and  says, ! ‘You should  be thankful your radar detector went off when it  did.’

As  the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at  his wife and says through clenched teeth,  ‘Dammit, woman, can’t you keep your mouth  shut?’

The  officer frowns and says, ‘And I  notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt,  sir. That’s an automatic fine.’

The  driver says, ‘Yeah,  well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it  off when you pulled me over so that I could get  my license out of my back pocket.’

The  wife says, ‘Now,  dear, you know very well that you didn’t have  your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt  when you’re driving.’

And  as the police officer is writing out the third  ticket the driver turns to his wife and  barks, ‘WHY DON’T  YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’

The  officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your  husband always talk to you this way,  Ma’am?’

I  love this part…. :

‘Only  when he’s been drinking.’