bingbongboo fun

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas.

When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.
Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
"Harriet, she’s a prostitute."
"I don’t believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let’s go up to our room and I’ll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for ‘Bambi’ to come to room 217."Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"
Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in,swinging her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"
"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."
Even George was taken aback. "$125? I was thinking more in the range of $25…"
Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
"Well," said George, "I guess we can’t do business.
Goodbye…"
After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can’t believe it!"
George said, "Let’s forget it. We’ll go have a drink, then eat dinner."
At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

There was a Chinese father named Cheng who was very close to his son. They used to go everywhere together including looking for “birds” (Chinese slang for prostitute).

One day, Chung the son decided to go overseas for study. The father was very supportive, and before his son left, the father told him, “Chung we cannot look for birds together for the next few years. However, if you need to look for birds, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please state the expense as ‘Shooting Clay Pigeons’ so that your mother will not suspect.”

So the son left, and after a month, the father received the bill from Chung, the son,……(shooting clay pigeons – $300). Subsequently, and for the next few months, the bill for shooting clay pigeons is more than $700. Well, the father could not tolerate this, so he wrote to his son.

“Chung Son, you have been shooting too expensive clay pigeons, try some cheaper one.”

A month later, Cheng, the father, received another bill from his son. On it he had written:
Shooting Clay Pigeons – $50
Rifle Repair – $2,000

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine.”

“Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked.

She said ” I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much.”

“So I told him a BJ would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either.”

“Finally I said, well, how much do you have?”

The marine said that he only had $25.

The new hooker said, “Well, for $25 all I can give you is a hand job”

He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said, “He pulled it out and I put one hand on it,
and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…..”

“OMG” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge! Then what did you do?”

“I loaned him $75!” she said.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.

“Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?

Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Sniff, sniff….Dad. …I became a prostitute…” “Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.” “OK, Dad– as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $1 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club……. (takes a breath)…. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and… …”

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” says Dad.
Girl, crying again, “Sniff, sniff….a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.”

“Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl

I thought ye said a Protestant.

Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.”

An old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake.

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.

He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, ‘How am I doing??”

The prostitute replies, “Well, old sailor, you’re doing about three knots ”

“Three knots?” he asks. “What’s that supposed to mean??”

She says, “You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your money back.