bingbongboo fun

After sixty years of marriage an elderly couple were enjoying the evening, swinging on the front porch and looking at the beautiful sunset. After a few minutes the ol’ lady reaches over and knocks the hell out of the ol’ man who goes flying off the porch and into the bushes.
The ol’ man slowly gets up and makes his way back to his seat next to his wife on the swing. He sits there for a few minutes and then asks, "What was that for, Ma?" She replies: "That’s for having such a small pecker!"
A few more minutes go by and the ol’ man reaches over and knocks the hell out of his wife, who also goes flying off the porch and into the bushes. She slowly gets up and makes her way back to her seat next to Pa. She sits there a minute and then asks, "What was that for, Pa?" He replies, "That’s for knowing there was more than one size."

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, ‘I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.’

The husband replies, ‘That’s no big thing in this day and age.’

The wife continues, ‘Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.’

‘Oh yeah? Who was the guy?’

‘Tiger Woods..’

‘Tiger Woods, the golfer?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.’

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

‘What are you doing?’ asks the wife.

The husband says, ‘I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.’

‘Tiger wouldn’t do that.’

‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’

‘He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.’

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. ‘Now what are you doing?’ she asks.

The husband says, ‘I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.’

‘Tiger wouldn’t do that.’

‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’

He’d come back to bed and do it again.’

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, ‘Are you calling room service?’

‘No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.’

This young couple was about to get married and the night before their wedding day they had a talk.
They decided that the one thing that they never wanted to have a problem with was initiating sex in their marriage.

To solve that problem they decided to come up with a “code word” to help break the ice when asking for sex.

While they were trying to think of a word the washing machine went off balance and the husband says, “I have an idea, why not use ‘washing machine’ as the code word?” So washing machine it was…

A year passed by and one night they were lying in bed and she was reading and he was watching TV. The husband rolls over and says, “Honey, Washing machine?”, and she replies, “Honey, not tonight, I’ve
got a huge headache. I promise we’ll do it tomorrow night!”

So he says, “Alright that’s fine, We’ll do it tomorrow.” They roll to their respective side of the bed and go to sleep. However, the wife can’t sleep because she’s thinking, gosh we’ve only been married 1 year so we’re still practically newlyweds maybe I should indulge him. She rolls over to her husband and whispers, “Honey, are you still awake??”,

He replies, “Yeah, what do you want?”.

She says, “Washing Machine?!?!?!?”

“Forget about it. It was a small load, I did it by hand.”

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in lahore.
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes,
I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab.
I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long.
My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly.
I am playing hardly also.
Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.
Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone.
I am jolly. I am gay.
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.
I am always giving respect to the ladies.
I am always allowing ladies to get on top.
That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits.
I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.
Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.
Daily I am pumping and pumping.
If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.
What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.
That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and
take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you,
I will be loving you very hard every day.
In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me,
I will press you and press you until you come.
So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet
and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab