bingbongboo fun

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed
a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the
dice. She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m
completely nude’. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the
dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, ‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new
clothes!’ As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and
squealed…’YES! YES! I WON, I WON!’

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and
her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, ‘What did she roll?’
The other answered, ‘I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’
MORAL OF THE STORY –
Not all Irish are drunks,
Not all blondes are dumb,
But all men…are, well, men.

As Paddy lay dying he called for his two best friends, Murphy and Seamus, to come to his bedside.

“I want you to promise me that when I’m gone you will bury me at sea”.

His two friends promised that his last wish would be carried out for him.

After the funeral, the two friends hired a rowing boat and after rowing for a while, Murphy said “This looks deep enough!”, and jumped out of the boat only to find the water only came up to his knees.

They rowed out further, and Murphy found that the water came up to his waist when he jumped out again.

Further still they rowed out, and the next time Murphy jumped out, he disappeared under the water and was gone for a couple of minutes.

Coming back to the surface, he shouted to Seamus “Hey, this spot will do Paddy just nicely, hand me the shovel”.

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

“Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher. “They say I died!!”

“Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where are ye callin’ from?”

Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, “Okay, pedestrians.” Then he’d allow the traffic to pass.

He’d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, “Pedestrians!” for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, “Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?”

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbour’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.

Suddenly Paddy jumps up out of bed and says “I’ve had enough of this”. He goes downstairs.

Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, “The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?”

Paddy says “I’ve put the dog in our yard . See how they like it now !”