Archive for the ‘golfers’ tag
Golfing
A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, ‘What’s with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!’
The Indian Doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’
The Chinese Businessman called out ‘Move it, time is money’
The Catholic Priest said, ‘Here comes George the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.’
‘Hello, George! Said the Catholic Priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
George the greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’
The group fell silent for a moment rather embarrassed of their thoughts and comments.
The Catholic Priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The Indian Doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my Ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.’
The Chinese Businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honor of these brave souls.
The Aussie said, ‘Why can’t they play at fucking night?’
Old Golfers
A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up and took a blanket to the couch.
The next day, the wife feeling badly about what happened, decided tobuy her husband a gift.
Since he was an avid golfer, she went to the pro shop at the club where he usually played golf. The wife talked with the pro, and he suggested a putter and showed her one of his finest.
“How much is it?” she asked. “One-hundred and fifty dollars,”he replied. She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so.
“But it comes with an inscription,” the pro said.
“What kind of inscription?” she asked.
“Whatever you wish,” he explained. “But, one of the old golfers’ favorites is: ‘Never Up, Never In.’”
“Oh, that will never do!” exclaimed the wife. “That’s what started the argument in the first place.”
