bingbongboo fun

The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city.
When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying,
"Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and then daddy got on top of her…"

Sonny’s mother held up her hand.

"Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me."

The father came home.
As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I’m leaving you. I’m packing now and I’m leaving you."

"But why–" asked the startled father. "

Go ahead, Sonny.

Tell daddy just what you told me."

"Well," Sonny said,
"I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and then they did just what you did with uncle John when daddy was away last summer.

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.”

“How much?” asked Grandpa.

“$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son.

“I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money
under the pillow.”

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told
you each pill was $10, not $110.

“I know,” said Grandpa. “The hundred is from Grandma!”

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”
She says, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”

“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?”

“We use it for sex.”

The researcher was a little taken back.

“Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s Bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?”

The woman says, “I don’t mind telling you at all…My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.”

An old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once
more, for old times sake.
He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some
reassurance, he asks, ‘How am I doing??
The prostitute replies, ‘Well, Pops, you’re doing about three knots.
Three knots? he asks.  What’s that supposed to mean?
She says, ‘You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your
money back…..

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While Doing so he asked her, ‘Do you know what I am doing?’

‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘You are checking for abrasions or Dermatological abnormalities.’

‘That’s right,’ said the doctor. He then began to fondle her Breasts.
‘Do you know what I am doing now?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.’
‘Correct,’ replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his Patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, ‘Do you know what I am doing now?’
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘You’re getting syphilis: which is why I came here in the first place.’

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!"

"I can’t jump out the window ~ It’s raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!" she replied. He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.

After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved alongside him. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

"Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, " Do you always wear a condom when you run? "

"Nope……… Just when it’s raining".