bingbongboo fun

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.
Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, ‘You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes.’ Jim Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. ‘Logic?’ Bubba says. ‘What’s that?’
The dean says, ‘I’ll show you. Do you own a weedeater?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard.’
‘That’s true, I do have a yard.’
‘I’m not done,’ the dean says. ‘Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.’ ‘Yes, I do have a house.’
‘And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.’ ‘I have a family.’
‘I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.’
‘Yes, I do have a wife.’
‘And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.’ ‘I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater.’ Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. ‘Logic?’ Jim Bob says, ‘What’s that?’
Bubba says, ‘I’ll show you. Do you have a weedeater?’
‘No.’
‘Then you’re a queer.’

A company was looking to hire someone for an important position so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the US .
In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.

The question was:
A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman’s back. What is the man’s name?
After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.
The first from the North, says, "My answer is, there is no answer."
The second, from the West , says, "My answer is, that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given.
The third one from the south says, "I’m not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names. It’s either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."
The Redneck got the job

SUSIE  LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY  JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY ‘BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU’LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I’D JUST AS SOON YO’ MA DON’T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, ‘THERE’S TROUBLE STILL.’

YOU CAN’T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON’T TELL YO’ MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO’ I KNOW IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO’ HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN’T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

A couple, both bona fide rednecks, had nine children.

They went to the doctor about getting the husband ‘fixed’.

The doctor asked them what made them reach this decision after having nine children.

The husband replied that they had read that one out ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take the chance of having a Mexican baby, as neither of them could speak a word of Spanish.

There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The
driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn’t have a zipper or
any buttons.

Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy, “I can’t
drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest.”

After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on
backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were
driving down the road and they came around this curb and
wrecked. The redneck farmer that lived there called the police and told
them what happened.

The police asked him, “Are either of them showing any life
signs?”

The redneck farmer then said, “Well, that first one was ’til I turned
his head around the right way.”

The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret?"
So Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw ‘em forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging it on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, "That you, Bubba?"