President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”.
One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.” No,” said Bush, “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.” “I’m afraid not,” explained the President. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.
Bush searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand…In a quiet voice he said: “If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a “friendly fire” missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaimed Bush. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be a *&^%%$# accident either”.
George Bush had a heart attack and died. Obviously, he went to hell where the devil was waiting for him.
“I’m not sure what to do,” said the devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, so I’m going to have to let someone else go. I’ve got three folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let you decide who leaves.”
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
“No!”
George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time. “No!” I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day.” commented George.
The devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.
” The devil smiled and said, “Ok, Monica, you’re free to go!”
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice
chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
“Naw, sir, I ain’t got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand
these here are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?” said the game warden.
“Ya. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them swim
’round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rat back into this here
ice chest and I take them home.”
“That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!” says the warden The redneck
looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “It’s the truth Mr.
Government man, I’ll show you. It really works.”
“Okay,” said the game warden, ” I’ve GOT to see this!”
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” said the redneck.
The warden said, “When are you going to call them back?”
The redneck said, “Call who back?”
“The FISH!” replied the warden.
“What fish?” answered the redneck.
We in Alabama may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we aren’t as
dumb as most government employees…
