I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in lahore.
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes,
I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Punjab.
I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long.
My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly.
I am playing hardly also.
Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.
Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone.
I am jolly. I am gay.
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.
I am always giving respect to the ladies.
I am always allowing ladies to get on top.
That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits.
I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.
Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.
Daily I am pumping and pumping.
If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.
What to do ? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday.
That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and
take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you,
I will be loving you very hard every day.
In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me,
I will press you and press you until you come.
So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet
and looking up with lots of hope.
I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon
Yours and only yours
Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
After failing his “Logistics and Organization” exam, a student confronted his professor. “Sir, do you understand anything about this subject?”
“Of course. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”
“Really? Then allow me to ask you one question. If you answer it correctly, I’ll accept my failing grade and leave quietly But if you don’t know the answer, I want an “A” on my exam.”
“Okay. It’s a deal. What’s your question?”
“What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
After long consideration the professor conceded and changed the student’s score to an “A.”
Afterwards the professor asked one of his best students the same question.
The good student answered immediately: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35-year-old woman which is legal but not logical. Your wife has a 22-year-old lover which is logical but not legal. And the fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A” when he should have failed is neither legal nor logical!”
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big
fuckin’ red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.
A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.
Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.
“What’s wrong?” asked the mother.
“I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,” replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
“Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.”
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears.
“It’s okay” said the Mom, “I know what happened you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.”
“No,” said the boy, “I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.”
A man checks into a hotel and the desk clerk asks, very quietly, if
he would like a woman sent to his room.
The man says yes.
The desk clerk says, “I have a stenographer, a switchboard operator or a teacher. Which one should I send up?”
With this the man replies, “I’ll take the teacher.”
When the man checks out the next morning, the desk clerk says, “I’m curious, why did you pick the teacher instead of the stenographer or the switchboard operator?”
The man replies, “The stenographer would say that she can’t take it as fast as I give it. The switchboard operator would cut me off before I’m finished, but the teacher would tell me to do it over and over again until I get it right.”
