This morning, from somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammad Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America ’s supply of convenience store managers.
If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell Computer customer service reps, Motel 6 managers, and liquor store cashiers.
Who knew it would come to this.
It’s getting ugly
Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat…
Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, ‘I need to get up and get a coke.’
‘Don’t get up,’ said the Marine, ‘I’m in the aisle seat, ‘I’ll get it for you.’
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine’s shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good, I’d rea! lly like one,too.’
Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.
While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine’s other shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
‘Why does it have to be this way?’ he asked. ‘How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?’
The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
‘You ‘have been to France before, monsieur?’ the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. ‘Zen, you should know enough to ‘have your passport ready for inspection.’
The American said, ‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.’
‘Impossible. You Americans always ‘have to show your passports on arrival in France !’
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ‘Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach in ‘44 I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, ‘Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.’ Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, ‘What do you want?’
‘Nothing important, sir,’ the airman replied, ‘I’m just here to hook up your telephone.’
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, ‘ Admiral , United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.’
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, ‘ Admiral , United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges.’
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, ‘ Master Gunnery Sergeant , United States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. ‘Your jeep stuck, sir?’ asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
‘Nope,’ replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, ‘Yours is.’
