bingbongboo fun

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5.. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46.. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

‘Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put In 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. so, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day’.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a  woman…

He arose, cooked breakfast For his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the  cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit,   went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.. Then, it was already 1 P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop The kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up The kids and got into an argument With them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and  Got the kids organized to do Their homework. Then, set up the ironing board And watched TV while he Did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling Potatoes and washing Vegetables for salad, Breaded the pork chops And snapped fresh beans for supper.  After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the  kids, And put  them to bed.

At 9 P.M. He was exhausted And, though his daily chores Weren’t finished, he went to Bed where he was  expected to Make love, which he managed To get through without complaint. 

The next morning, he awoke And immediately knelt by the Bed and said: -

Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my Wife’s’ being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, Let us trade back.. Amen!’

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: 
‘My son, I feel you have Learned your lesson and I will be happy to change Things back to the way They were. You’ll just have to wait Nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.’

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, The wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, The next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 Just to Drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands n*ked in front of Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said,’NO!’

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot  and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.  

The End

Tom was in Las Vegas gambling and having a run of bad luck.

He lost all his money and was now waiting for his bank to wire him some more.
He was on his way up to his hotel room when he meets a beautiful hooker in the elevator.
He is smitten with her and tells her that he wants to make love to her right now.

The hooker says, "Honey, if you got the cash, we can make your wish come true."
Tom realizes he doesn’t have any money on him yet and tells the hooker that he will have the money in about an hour or so.
The hooker says, "No money, no lovin’"

Tom pleads with her but the hooker does not give in.
She tells him that when he gets the money she will be more than happy to oblige him, but she actually does find Tom attractive so she reaches over to his pants, unzips his fly, takes his penis in her hand and then proceeds to write on it the following – Gloria 357-6262, when you have $$$.

Tom returns to his room and a couple of hours later, the money from his bank finally arrives.
He immediately rushes to the phone to call his "dream woman".
He unzips his pants so he can retrieve the number off his penis, but alas his erection was gone and in order to read the number he starts rubbing his penis frantically.

At that very moment, the maid entered his room to clean and shrieked at this sight.

Tom says to the maid, "Don’t worry, I’m just trying to make a phone call."

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly  teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large  collection of Teddy Bears.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn’t mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself
thinking,

‘Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!

Maybe he could be the future father of my children?’

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips

He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other’s clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,

‘Well, how was it?’

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes,

and says…..

‘Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf’