bingbongboo fun

Little Johnny got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

Little Johnny asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.” Little Johnny replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that. ”

The priest looked up from his book and answered “I am the Father of many.”

Little Johnny said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.. ”

The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.

Little Johnny sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

“Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.”

Little Johnny was sitting on the curb with a gallon of Turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later the local Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. 
Little Johnny replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it’s called turpentine."

The Priest said, "No, Johnny, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women’s belly,  she’ll pass a healthy baby."

Little Johnny replied, "No, you’re wrong there, Father! You take some of this here turpentine  and rub it on a cat’s ass and he’ll pass a Harley Davidson."

A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying T.O.T.

Knowing that she had some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she cautiously asked ‘Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?’

Mary in the front row raised her hand to explain it means ‘To Our Teacher.".

The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple than the day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on it. She asks for an explanation for this note.

Little Johnny waves his hand to explain ‘That means ‘To Our Teacher With Love’.

The next morning she arrives to find a great big watermelon sitting on her desk with a tag saying ‘F.U.C.K.’ Her jaw drops and she screams, ‘Who can explain this?’

Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that means ‘From Us Colored Kids’

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast.
To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.
Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, ‘E-G-G’.
‘Very good’, says the teacher.
Peter says he had toast. ‘T-O-A-S-T’.
‘Excellent.’
Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.
‘I had fuck all’, he says, ‘F-U-C-K A-L-L’.
The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.

Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions.
Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada. Peter is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada’s east coast.
When it’s Johnny’s turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question.
Johnny, she asks, ‘Where is the Pakistani border?’
Johnny ponders the question and finally says, ‘The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my mother.
That’s why I got fuck all for breakfast’.

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.

Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, ‘E-G-G’.

Very good’, says the teacher.

Peter says he had toast, ‘T-O-A-S-T’.

‘Excellent.’

Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.

I had fuck all’, he says, ‘F-U-C-K – A-L-L’.

The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.

Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions.

Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada.

Peter Is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada ’s east coast.

When it’s Johnny’s turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question.

Johnny’, she asks, ‘Where is the Pakistani border?

Johnny responds, ‘The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my mother.

That’s why I got fuck all for breakfast’.

The teacher asks kindergarten students what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

First pupil: ‘Tylenol?’

Teacher: ‘Very good! And what is it used for?’

Pupil: ‘It is used for headaches’

Second pupil: ‘Nytol Teacher’

Teacher: ‘Excellent. And what it is used for?’

Pupil: ‘To help you sleep’

Now it is Johnny’s turn and he says: ‘Viagra’

Teacher, slightly shocked: ‘Johnny, What do you think is it used for?’

Johnny: ‘It can be used for diarrhea’

Teacher: ‘Who told you this?’

Johnny: ‘Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father …

‘Take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder’