bingbongboo fun

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

“Now what are you doing?” She asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what’s par for this damn hole!”

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here”?

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it ?!?!”

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.

He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing, the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him!

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked, “Are you a good golfer”? To which the man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I ?!?! ”

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5 iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective
Asked, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did.” The woman began to sob, dropped the club, and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know, five, six, maybe seven times… Just put me down For a five. ”

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par 3 the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole my
Son?”

The young man said, “An 8 iron, father. How about you?”

The priest said, ” I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The young man hit his 8 iron and put the ball on the green.

The priest topped his 7 iron and dribbled the ball out a few yards.

The young man said, “I don’t know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down.”

A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, “You are spectacular and your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You
Really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?”

Mickelson replied, “The holes are numbered.”