A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl named Peggy
in a exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment
when he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was
well groomed and apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection
of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors
and offered her a glass of wine.
He asked Peggy whether she preferred Port or Sherry
and she said, “Oh Sherry by all means. To me, it’s the nectar
of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal clear decanter
fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When
the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured
into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I’m
lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I’m
about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins
to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly
played fills my ears and I’m transported into another
world. Port on the other hand, makes me fart.”
A fart it is a pleasant thing
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known,
To sound like a song!
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while…
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true -
We must never forget..
Sweet old farts like you!
November 6th, 2007
20:01
Farts
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song……
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while……
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget…….
Good old farts like you!
Sometimes…when you cry… no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…when you are in pain…no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes…when you are worried..no one sees your stress.
Sometimes…when you are happy..no one sees your smile .
But FART!! just ONE time…And everybody knows!!
July 19th, 2007
13:48
Farts
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song……
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while……
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevator,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
That farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget…….
Nice old farts like you!
A man and a woman, who never met before, and were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1 a.m., the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!” he exclaimed.
“Good,” she replied. “Get your own f **king blanket!”
After a brief moment of silence … he farted.
