theres this blonde who was driving by a cornfield when she spotted another blonde trying to row through the corn field..she rolls down her window and yells it’s blondes like you that give the rest of us bad names..if i could swim i would come out there and whoop your butt!
How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
She had it bronzed.
What’s a blonde’s favorite color?
A light shade of clear.
What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
They both get easier to pick-up with age.
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.”
“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”
“No, mother,” you don’t understand.
“I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!”
“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!” says her mom. “Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”
“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for?”
“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - ‘Prepare from a frozen state,’ so I flew to Alaska!
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him,” said the psychiatrist “Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”
A blonde lady was lost in her car in a terrible snowstorm. She
remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a
snowstorm, wait for a snowplough and just follow it.”
Pretty soon, a snowplough came by and she started to follow it. She
followed the plough for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the
snowplough got out and asked what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her that if she ever got stuck in a
snowstorm to follow a plough.
The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m through with ploughing the
Wal-Mart lot. Now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - “This is the WORST book I’ve ever read!” “It has NO plot and far too many characters!”
The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - “So, you’re the one who took our phone book…”
