bingbongboo fun

A young woman had been taking golf lessons.

She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early? ‘What’s wrong?

I was stung by a bee’, she said.

‘Where’, he asked..

‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your stance is too wide.’

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,

“Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,

and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax.

Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then ..”

he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . ….. .

One day an Irishman ,who had been stranded on a desert island for over 10 years,saw a speck on the horizon.He thought to himself,”It’s certainly not a ship.”

And, as the speck got closer and closer,he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blond!!

The glamorous blond strides up to the stunned Irishman and says to him”Tell me,how long has it been since you had a cigarette?”

“Ten years,”replies the amazed Irishman.With that,she reaches over and unzips a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve on her wetsuit,and pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes.He takes one,lights it,and takes a long drag.”Faith and begorrah,”says the man,”that is so good I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”

“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Irish whiskey?” asks the blond.

Trembling, the castaway replies,”Ten years” Hearing that,the blond reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him.He opens the flask and takes a long drink.”Tis nectar of the gods!” states the Irishman.”Tis truly fantastic!!!”

At this point the gorgeous blond starts to slowly unzip the long front of her wetsuit,right down the middle.

She looks at the trembling man and asks “And how long is it since you played around?”

With tears in his eyes,the Irishman falls to his knees and sobs,”Sweet Jesus! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”

A Blonde goes over to her friend’s house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.

‘Why are you wearing a Thank God It’s Friday tee-shirt on Monday?’

‘Oh crap!’ the blonde says. ‘I didn’t realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.’

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,! “We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!” The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”