bingbongboo fun

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.

Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, ‘E-G-G’.

Very good’, says the teacher.

Peter says he had toast, ‘T-O-A-S-T’.

‘Excellent.’

Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.

I had fuck all’, he says, ‘F-U-C-K - A-L-L’.

The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.

Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions.

Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada.

Peter Is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada ’s east coast.

When it’s Johnny’s turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question.

Johnny’, she asks, ‘Where is the Pakistani border?

Johnny responds, ‘The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my mother.

That’s why I got fuck all for breakfast’.

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

‘Doctor,’ the man said, ‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair.  She can’t possibly be mine!!’

‘Nonsense,’ the doctor said’.

‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’
‘It isn’t possible,’ the man insisted.’!!!!!!

‘This can’t be!

Our families on both sides has had jet-black hair for generations.’
‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘let me ask you this.

How often do you have sex??? ‘

The man seemed a bit ashamed . ‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.’
‘Well, there you have it!’ The doctor said confidently.

‘It’s rust.’

Two Gay Guys are walking through a zoo… They come across the gorilla
and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are
fascinated by this.

One of the men just can’t bear it any longer, and he reaches into the
cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and
mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants
helplessly stand by….

When he’s done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance
is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. A few days later,
his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, ‘Are you hurt?’

‘AM I HURT?’ he shouts, ‘Wouldn’t you be? He hasn’t called….he hasn’t
written….’

A lawyer and an Italian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Italians are so dumb that he could get over on them easy…So the lawyer asks if the Italian would like to play a fun game.

The Italian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Italians attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. ‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the Moon ?’ The Italian doesn’t say a word, re aches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the Italian’s turn. He asks lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four ?’ The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Italian and hands him $500. The Italian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Italian up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four ?’

The Italian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

A young Italian girl was going on a date.

Her Nonna said: “Sita here ana letame tella you about this-a
younga boy.
He’s agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don’t
let him do dat. He’s agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are
agonna likea dat too, but don’ta let him do dat eeda. But mosta
important, he’s agonna try ana lay on topa you, you are agonna
really likea dat, but don’ta let him do dat for sure. Doing thata
willa disgraza our family.
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.

The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had
predicted: “And Nonna, I didn’t let him disgrace our family as you
said.
When he tried to lay on top of me, I just rolled him over, got on
top of him, and disgraced HIS family!”

Nonna fainted!!

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

‘I should be in charge,’ said the brain , ‘Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would
happen.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the blood , ‘Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the stomach,’ Because I process food and give all of you energy.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the legs, ‘because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the eyes, ‘Because I allow the body to see where it goes.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the rectum, ‘Because I’m responsible for waste removal.’

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?

Even though the others do all the work…

The asshole is usually in charge