bingbongboo fun

After twenty years of having sex in the dark, a wife finds out that her husband has always used a dildo on her instead of the real thing.

“Explain the dildo!”, she says to her husband.

“Not until you explain the kids!”, he replies.

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman’s chair, and said in a rather stern voice, ‘Skippy!’.
The woman thought, This is great!’ and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, ‘Dammit Skippy!’
Once again the woman smiled and thought ‘Yes!’ A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time
she didn’t even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, ‘Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before
she shits on you!’

Hillary bought Obama a parrot for his birthday.

She told Bill, “The bird is so smart! Barrack has taught him over 200 words!”

“Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” Bill said.
“But you do realize, don’t you, that he’s just saying the words? He doesn’t really understand what they mean.”

“That’s OK,” Hillary replied. “Neither does the parrot.”

A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and says
“Now I have to arrange for a GHET.”

The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet. So, the woman explains that a Ghet is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce recognized by the Jewish faith.

The judge says, “You mean a religious ceremony like a Bris?” (Circumcision)

She replies. “Yes, very similar, only in this case you get rid of the entire prick!”