bingbongboo fun

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks ‘What’s sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?’

The woman replies, ‘It’s Keith, the dwarf’

There was this guy who loved nothing better than to sit at nearby bar for long evenings and get stoned with his cronies. But his wife was a social climber, and was prone to having her "ladies" in for bridge etc.

This one night she didn’t want him to be around embarrassing her, so she told him to stay out as late as he wished, just don’t come in and make another scene.

Well, he came in the back door a little early, as she was preparing tea and some delicate little sandwiches, and was infuriated at his early return home.

"You keep your mouth shut, and go upstairs to bed" she told him.

"Oh, relax,"says he, "I’ll just take a cup of coffee, say good evening to the ladies, and I’ll be gone."

"Just keep your mouth shut," says she again.

Well, when she finally went back into the living room, all the ladies were gone, and he sat there alone.

She ‘flipped’ and told him she was going to divorce him and take everything he had, but he said,"wait a minute, you have to hear my side of the story."

"I came in here , sat down, and said good evening to the ladies, and they carried on. One lady said she was having trouble with mice in her house, and another lady suggested she stuff their holes with steel wool, and all I said was, who is going to hold their little legs while you do it?

When I first noticed that my penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife

But after several weeks, my penis had grown fifty centimeters.

I became quite concerned.

I was having problems dressing, and even walking. So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that, though rare, my condition (Donkey Doodle,) could be fixed through corrective surgery.

‘How long will he be on crutches?’ my wife asked anxiously.

‘Crutches? Why would he need crutches?’ responded the surprised doctor.

‘Well,’ said the wife coldly, ‘you’re going to lengthen his legs, aren’t you?

A man goes to a public golf course.

He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, “I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.”

The man behind the counter says, “The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: we just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you’re willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.”

The golfer obviously accepted the man’s offer.

He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, “I think my driver will do the job.”

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, “No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.”

Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assist ance.

As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, “I think this green is gonna break left to right.”

The robot then again spoke up and said, “No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left”

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine.

He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice.

But his luck didn’t end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, “How was your game ?” The golfer stated, “It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots.

See you next week.

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop.

Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, “I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.”

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, “Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.”

Confused, the golfer cried, “COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could’ve complained about those robots? They were incredible”

The man sighed and said, “Well, it wasn’t their performance.

It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way. ”

The golfer said, “So then why didn’t you just paint them black?”

The man nodded sadly and replied, “We did. Then four of ‘em didn’t show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President.

A man arrives at Ben Gurion International Airport in Israel with two
large bags.

A customs agent stops him, opens one bag and finds it full with money  in different currencies.
The agent asks the passenger: ‘How did you get this money?’
The man says:
‘You will not believe it, but I traveled all over Europe and went into
all the public restrooms that I could.
Each time I saw a man pee, I grabbed his organ and said, ‘Donate money  to Israel or I will cut off your balls.”
The customs agent is stunned and mumbles:
‘Well…it’s a very interesting story… What do you have in the other
bag?’
The man says: ‘You would not believe how many people in Europe do not support Israel ….’