bingbongboo fun

This guy walks into a bar wearing a Lion jersey and carrying a little dog that also has a Lion jersey on with a little Lions helmet too. The guy says to the bartender, “Can my dog and I watch the Lions game here? My TV at home broke and my dog and I want to see the game.”

The guy agrees and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon the Lions kick a field goal and the little dog jumps on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender says, “Hey, that’s cool! What does he do for a touch down?”

The guy answers, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.” “Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”

On a Septic Tank Truck : Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.

Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.

Male…. Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.

Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female…. An embarrassing by product of indigestion.

Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder