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Aibohphobia - the fear of palindromes

Add some variety to your sex life, use the other hand

Adam came first, but men always do.

Abstinence is the thin end of the wedge

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.

He said, ‘I’m going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.’ She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, ‘It looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.’

She replied, ‘You mean it shows that, too?’

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their
lives.

When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day
Mike says, “Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played
Sunday football together for so many years. Please do me one favour,
when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s Football
there.”

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed and says:” Mike, you’ve been my
best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favour
for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound
sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to
him,”

Mike–Mike.”

“Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. “Who is it?”

“Mike–it’s me, Joe.”

“You’re not Joe. Joe just died.”

“I’m telling you, it’s me, Joe,” insists the voice.”

“Joe! Where are you?”

“In heaven”, replies Joe. “I have some really good news and a little bad
news.”

“Tell me the good news first,” says Mike.

“The good news,” Joe says,” is that there’s football in heaven.

Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too.

Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always
spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play
football all we want, and we never get tired.”

“That’s fantastic,” says Mike. “It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s
the bad news?

“You’re playing Tuesday.”