bingbongboo fun

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, ” I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”

The fourth said, “You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.” The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”

“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”

“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”

“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”

Luv Ya, Mama

How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?

She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics?

She had it bronzed.

What’s a blonde’s favorite color?

A light shade of clear.

What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?

They both get easier to pick-up with age.

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.

After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man “What are you staring at?”

“Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and fucked a parrot. I was wondering if you were my son.”

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, “Let’s start with the boys first.”

Boys start giving their intro…

First boy: “My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

Teacher was confused to listen but said, “Interesting. Well, Ok.

In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it’s ok John.

Yes next.”

Second boy: “Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

Teacher now got surprised and said, “Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend.

Ok next.”

Third boy: “I’m Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

Teacher: “Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere.

Ok next.”

This continues…

And the last boy stands up “I’m Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

Exhausted, the teacher said, “I don’t think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.

Anyway, now the girls please.”

First girl: “I’m Julie and my hobby is to see birds.”

Teacher: “Good. At last I got something different. Ok next.”

Second girl: “I’m Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.”

Teacher “Now it’s like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet Girl; Yes you…”

Most beautiful girl of the class:

“Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.”

Clive and Bud are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Bud grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Clive whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “By t’undering, I think Bud is dead! What should I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence…… and then a gun shot is heard. Clive comes back on the line : “Okay, now what?”