bingbongboo fun

Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70.

When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered “Why should I be upset?
Dogs chase cars, but they can’t drive.”

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said the teacher. Little Johnny answered: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked

Sure,” said Johnny confidently. “It means carrying a child.”

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”

His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it.
She’ll probably be thrilled.” Adam decided to take his friend’s advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”

“Yes, I did,” Adam replied.

“Did she like it?”

“Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling “I’ll be back in an hour!!”

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.

The teacher announces, “The topic of the day is describe your mother to me as a bird, and tell me why.” She leaves the kiddies for a short while and then asks them their answers.

Kelly at the front goes first, “My Mummy’s like a swan, because she’s white and elegant”

“Thank you Kelly” says teacher, and she continues going around the class.

Bobby says “My Mummy’s like a stork, cos she has babies and babies, and I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters.”

“Thank you Bobby.” says the teacher, and continues with the other students.

Finally there is no-one left but Little Johnny, so the teacher finally asks him, “Johnny, what bird most resembles your mother?”

Little Johnny pipes up with “A thrush!”

The teacher, thinking she may finally have a decent answer asks, “Why is that?”

Little Johnny replies, “Because she’s an irritating cunt!”

The old professor decides to do something wild he’s never done before, so he sets out to rent his first X-rated adult video. He goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating

He drives home, lights some candles, slips into his comfy jammies, and puts the tape in the VCR. To his disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so he calls the video store to complain

The old professor: “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape but static.

Store Clerk: “Sorry about that. We’ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?

The old professor: “It’s called ‘Head Cleaner’.”