The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret?"
So Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw ‘em forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging it on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, "That you, Bubba?"
December 24th, 2008
10:53
Wife
My wife said, “Whatcha doin today?”
I said, “Nothing.”
She said, “You did that yesterday.”
I said, “I wasn’t finished.”
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’
The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,
Skater Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95…
The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir…,
Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout. The cashier asks, “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”
The nine-year-old replies “Nope, not for my mom.”
Without thinking, the cashier responded “Well, they must be for your sister then?”
The nine year old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.”
The cashier had now become curious “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister? Who are they for?”
The nine year old says, “They’re for my four year old little brother.”
The cashier is surprised “Your four year old little brother?”
The nine year old explains: “Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!”
December 15th, 2008
19:31
Sex
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says “Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let’s give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them”
The lawyer says “Fuck the Boy Scouts!”
The priest says, “Do we have time?”
A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.
“Sure!” she says, “He’s at home taking care of the kids…”
